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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

so much for sadness... it's sunny...

i just realized too much on it... i am happy, i feel the love... and i am in love anyways, so why frown and get kreezee... birthday is five more days. i better be pulling up myself and create a new and fun mood to welcome my upcoming birthday!

question: are you coming to see me? that would surely  make me the happiest person... guess, not to expect so i will not get broken hearted again... hehehe...

undealt issues...

as i have expected, the issue was turned around to me being jealous of you falling in love with somebody else. and that hurts me bad. probably i must admit i was, but it wasn't the real issue. the issue is, while i am worried of you not replying to all my messages and emails for two days after you complained about pain and being sore at work, it was the time that you are busy doing and exchanging emails to somebody else. that is what i am upset of. it seems like your time to socialize is far more important than me being worried about you.

and maybe that's the reason why i am still and i cannot stop myself from crying every time i think of you and hear your voice.

now probably, enough for my being to concern. just take it as how you want things to be. the reason why i don't tell you my pains and sorrows (aside from ours related - missing you and lonely) is because i don't want you to feel sad and worried about me.

whatever i do and wherever i go, you are the first thing in my mind... now, i do not know. i'm confused...

Sunday, May 29, 2011

can't sleep

it's 2am and still cannot sleep. no appetite to eat... throwing up. this is the worst i have for being so angry and jealous.

i hope it can be as easy as how it is when you tell me. but we maybe one as a partner, but there are things in life that we see things in our own perspective. i love you and that's the only reason i'm taking this. pain is just a part of being in love. being in love is taking the risk of being hurt, of being in pain and sorrow.

anyways, i will keep your words on it. i'll work it hand in hand with you to work this out.

why now...

checking my blogs and all the blogs that i have been reading since i started; one post broke my heart... i dont know why things like that could happen. i hate it... sorry for the word but i really hate it.

never have messages for 2 days, no comments, no emails and  no whatever and then i'll see that you can find time to send somebody an email, i cannot find any other excuse... it's not the person, it's not the content of that email... it is the fact that i thought that you cannot reply to me because you are sore from work. i am worrying that you might not be in good health, whatever part of your body is aching. you even cannot find time to get a good food before sleeping... all those i keep telling myself over and over again whenever you cannot reply. just to find out you can send them one... o my... i really cannot find any reason not to be jealous at all... i hate it... sorry for the word.. but i really do...

is this the start of my "crazy" pre-birthday "heartaches..."...

please?... noooooooo.....

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Today... the swimming pool

We opened the pool yesterday, and the treatment is starting today. i will work side by side to my boss' son MarkJr. who will do it, with my help and my buddy - Pat's assistance...

 A swimming pool is always been a part of whatever my dream house will be, but now i know how hard it is to maintain a pool. but i still wanna have (LOL!) it if i can. guess i  need to earn and save more money so i can afford the cost and fee for the person who will maintain it for me.. hahaha... love it. learning new things is always fun and exciting.

Anyways, having a pool at our backyard reminds me of how beautiful my hometown (Roxas, Palawan, Philippines) is. With my home approx 300 meters away from sea/beach. I miss those days that we, my siblings, cousins and friends will just strip off in our undies and go to the sea with my grandparents looking after us.

Friday, May 27, 2011

First Day

because i have dedicated my other and first blog to songs and feelings. this one will just be like a dairy. inputs of what i'm doing, buy, think, did, daily thoughts about news or programs...

just like today, got the first of gifts that for my upcoming 41st birthday. a single & gold ring with stones and a car key chain... just got my new G1 license 3 weeks ago. hopefully it's the start of my wonderful driving experience...

thanks!