two things i'm reflecting on today before my birthday...

first. my 81yo boss told me about this story that he heard sometime somewhere before. this is how it goes,

in a musical recital, a man is playing his violin beautifully and everybody was really attentive of his performance but in the middle of that performance, one of the strings got torn off. so everybody was schocked and waited for what he will do, they thought he will do something and put it back, but, what he did was took it out of its hook, and continue to play even the music is no longer good because of the absence of one of the strings.

so after the show, the host of the program asked him, " why did you keep playing?"

the man replied, "you know my friend, sometimes you have to play the music for what string you have left!"

second thought i am reflecting on was taken from the lines in the movie "The Hottest State." it goes like this:

... a lot of shit (sorry for the word) is gonna happen to you, like, people is not gonna love you. No matter what happen in this life, you only have two choices, only two choices.

--- One, you can either handle things well and be happy or

... two, handle it poorly and be miserable.

... the root of depression is being too self envolve. and the cure, is to read...

still sick...

june 3, 2 more days and ill be turning 41. time flies very fast. im not afraid of growing old. what i am afraid of is growing old with nobody lying beside me to rest at night and make fun.

btw, i feel a little better now, altho i still have a little fever. what's making me crazy is my runny nose and my dry cough. i feel like my chest is gonna explode every time im coughing. and besides my boss is becoming too concern about me and that makes me sad. i don't want him to be bothered. i am suppose to be caring for him not him bothering/worrying about me. but he always knew, i just wanna be happy at least this week and on my birthday. and he knew i wanna see my family and friends with a happy face.

i guess i have two more days... i'll strictly follow the doctor's advise to make sure im gonna be fine tomorrow for my birthday dinner party and on sunday my big day....