i don't know if how my family would react if they know that i am going to Toronto today to celebrate... hahaha... who cares anyway! there's a party. no other thing to do but to join them... hehehe... i just wanna experience it, so that when i'm old whatever may happen tonight, bad or good, i tried it and at the end will never have the regrets of not experiencing it... anyway,
i believe that the gift of experience is the best gift of all.
it remains forever... so off i go... just a piece of advise, make sure that when you give this kind of gift, make sure it's good for it remains forever, so any bad ones will be there like a stain... so be careful...
as early as 4am, i have been receiving text messages from my Canadian friends confirming if i am coming or not... and the answer is "YES!" for sure my filipino friends are busy doing whatever it costume they will be wearing for tomorrow. i am excited for them... can't join them tho.... it's alright to be just an expectator... will i be able to post the pics here? we'll, that we will see... i don't wanna be rated - for adults only... hahaha...
let's see what kind of experience this celebration will give me...
PS... thanks Gary for the advise... yes i'll go for it... i deserve to be happy... who is not anyway?!..
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Woke Up Feeling Empty
Good morning everyone!
It's Canada Day! Everyone is still asleep probably except for those who will be preparing something for the celebration. I have heard there will be celebrations, talking about those close to me; one in Oakville, Burlington, Hamilton, Niagara Falls and of course Toronto!
I just got a text message from a very good sweet friend in Calgary that there will also one happening in their area tonight. Wow! Thanks for that Gary! Go for it enjoy the celebration... You deserve it after days of hard work...
But the irony to all of these is... I woke up empty headed. I don't know what happened because I already have a definite idea of what to do for the extra hour that my boss gave me tonight to go out and check what's happening and that tomorrow I am already heading to Toronto meeting my new found friends who are so welcoming and warm and kind to include me in their celebration, I just feel like I'm lost.
Am I having a hard time of making myself happy? Is this midlife crisis? Hahaha! But the end of self assessment, it's just that I always make my decision with a lot of expectation and with a lot of "BUT'S" and "IF's"... making a lot of spaces just in case something comes. a surprise or whatever... i already miss the essence of surprises because of a lot of frustrated expectations. terrible! A Lot of expectations that I know won't happen no matter how hard I pray. It's just it is hard to hold on other people's mind, they have their own priorities themselves.
Now I know what to do, make a changes on my dates with friends. I'll just meet them to watch the parade on Sunday. I'll try to feel the toronto city celebration tomorrow all by myself. Oh how I wish I'm back in the Philippines. There I'll start being alone and before I know it everyone is joining me. But I'm not home. I'll try to do it here. Sometimes the best of going out alone, if you suddenly change your plan, you don't need to consult anyone.
Anyway, I already made a reservation in a cheap but clean place to stay. Hopefully next year I can afford a better one. Besides I need to save a little money for my Montreal, Ottawa and Calgary trips for July, August and November.
Ok there I go. After a big cup of coffee, I'm not lost and no longer empty headed. No expectation, pleasure yourself. Hahaha!
It's Canada Day! Everyone is still asleep probably except for those who will be preparing something for the celebration. I have heard there will be celebrations, talking about those close to me; one in Oakville, Burlington, Hamilton, Niagara Falls and of course Toronto!
I just got a text message from a very good sweet friend in Calgary that there will also one happening in their area tonight. Wow! Thanks for that Gary! Go for it enjoy the celebration... You deserve it after days of hard work...
But the irony to all of these is... I woke up empty headed. I don't know what happened because I already have a definite idea of what to do for the extra hour that my boss gave me tonight to go out and check what's happening and that tomorrow I am already heading to Toronto meeting my new found friends who are so welcoming and warm and kind to include me in their celebration, I just feel like I'm lost.
Am I having a hard time of making myself happy? Is this midlife crisis? Hahaha! But the end of self assessment, it's just that I always make my decision with a lot of expectation and with a lot of "BUT'S" and "IF's"... making a lot of spaces just in case something comes. a surprise or whatever... i already miss the essence of surprises because of a lot of frustrated expectations. terrible! A Lot of expectations that I know won't happen no matter how hard I pray. It's just it is hard to hold on other people's mind, they have their own priorities themselves.
Now I know what to do, make a changes on my dates with friends. I'll just meet them to watch the parade on Sunday. I'll try to feel the toronto city celebration tomorrow all by myself. Oh how I wish I'm back in the Philippines. There I'll start being alone and before I know it everyone is joining me. But I'm not home. I'll try to do it here. Sometimes the best of going out alone, if you suddenly change your plan, you don't need to consult anyone.
Anyway, I already made a reservation in a cheap but clean place to stay. Hopefully next year I can afford a better one. Besides I need to save a little money for my Montreal, Ottawa and Calgary trips for July, August and November.
Ok there I go. After a big cup of coffee, I'm not lost and no longer empty headed. No expectation, pleasure yourself. Hahaha!
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