Lost Soul amidst the Festival

i must admit i made a mess of myself weekend.
in my eagerness to combat myself for
dragging me insane and sad,
i instead made a fool of myself.

while the whole city of toronto
is partying and having fun.
drinks, music and food.
laughters, hugs and kisses

i am sad, alone and lost...
just like how the people of Toronto
crying over why their good mayor
did not show up to the festival...
me too, im crying why you didn't
show up...

but don't worry
i know you're tired
and sore and
you cannot come...

and not the end of everything...

luckily i have found new friends that have
kept me company.

i wanna say thank you to Dennis
for introducing me to his
wonderful mom Dorothy,
sister Mary.

                 with Dorothy                              With Dennis & Eddie

his friends
Eddie,

Sorry got no pics with the following:
David, Mary and Robert...


Dean and Steve, Dennis

and Kim

some pics i got from the parade...
sorry, for one i am late
second i am too short..
cannot get any good view...

All Of My Fears!

I am all this time right about all of this things that I have been fearing. That The moment I open myself up, I'll be in a terrible mess. Last night, a very good friend of mine texted me, while we are walking along church street of Toronto, texted me this - you look lost! It seems like No matter how hard I to project myself to be happy, it does not help, im are lost...

On my way home, I get out of the crowd went off to a very dark park and cried... I cried hard so I can let go of everything that I have been keeping. I don't mind much the word "SAD", everyone has low moments. But to be called "LOST"... That's very painful.

I am always been known as a guy who knows the answer for "WHAT", "WHERE", "WHEN" and "WHO"... Lost is one word that I would never consider to be part of my life. That word is scary for me...

I am sorry! but I cannot bear this anymore... Before I get so drowned, I will search for myself first. Start all over again... It's all my fault. Taking the blame on it. I let this happen.

Told you, one of these days we might wake up that the other one is gone... Slowly we are fading... And fall...

attached is a video i took from my friend's 11th floor apartment at church street... taken before we went for a walk...