doctor's day

every year before my birthday is coming has been difficult for me. it's not that i am afraid of getting old but it's the feeling that i am getting old by myself. (R, that's the reason why i am crazy for that week. not having you beside me, is fu_ _ _ ing crazy...) hope we can do something with this distance problem we have...

and then, i started feeling chest pains. which i thought is just because of being worried and being stressed. but yesterday i am starting to feel an on and off numbness on my right arm while having chest pains. i hope this is not serious. hypertension, heart disease and diabetes are the common reason of my families death. that's why i'm worried. hopefully i got the other reason of death - old age. with that i'm gonna be lucky...

but just the thought of it... i dont mind dying young Mr. R, if it means dying for  you...