trying to relax...

i went out yesterday with my friends in toronto. it seems like for somebody who is new to canada i am missing a lot of things. i have suppressed myself in being in parties and gimmicks that would put me in a very tempting situation.

sorry for the readers, modesty aside because i know for myself (self pity) that even with my own family, i am the ugliest of the seven siblings, that is why i always keep myself look clean and neat; but here in canada, every time i am in a bar or a party, interesting looking men would always come forward and introduce themselves. it is so flattering. but what comes after? sorry guys, i am not into a hook up and one night stand guy... not even for looks... i dont go for GQ models, i go for those who can say something about the headlines regarding, politics, economics and nature or whatever... or probably they themselves like me is tired of the "Hot Ones" and wanna try something else. looks without intellect is empty for me...

i am dating and i am in a relationship with a guy (very good one and awesome) that i really love so much, but due to distance and work, he cannot just cross the border and see me as often as he wants... and i cannot go there, got no US visa yet but working on it... would you like to help me and tell tell the Obama govt that i just wanna see the word on the american side and approve my visa?.. hahaha...

anyways, whatever may happen... hope we can work it out... i don't want another spring, summer, fall or winter pass me by again without being with him... it's heartbreaking...