Sunday, March 25, 2012

LOVE & Reflection

Magpie 110

image: Duane Michals




posted for Magpie Tales
photo courtesy of Tess Kincaid

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on my other blogs

Mis Canciones [link] Summer Holiday
My Amateur Shots [link] First Mount Nemo Walk

Friday, March 23, 2012

Days Off, A Conflict Of Interest

i am always excited
for my next days off
to show you
how much
i care for you.
making our little paradise
a heaven for you
after a day of labor;
your clothes washed
and ironed
making sure you look your best
in and out of our home;
although it is bottomless at your work,
a freshly brewed coffee
is waiting for you at home;
and the smell of dinner
on the stove
or in the oven.

You other other hand;
to show how much
you care for me;
wants me to just
sit back and relax.
especially in this warm sunny day
in our patio...
hand me with a glass of wine,
appetizers carefully placed on a plate;
while good music is playing.

well! I guess it doesn't matter
what's taking place,
my plan or yours...
because whichever or whatever it is...
it is still love...

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check out my other blogs:

My Amateur Shots [link] First Mount Nemo Walk
Mis Canciones [link] Summer Holiday

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

S.H.I.T. before T.G.I.F.




Got it?..

Happy weekened ahead bloggers!..

Sunday, March 18, 2012


Magpie Tales Photo Prompt 109

image: Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison

And humans
Like machine parts,
Are interconnected
With each other.

Whatever we do
Or say
Have something to do
With our surroundings.
No way saying,
"i do not care!."

We are created
To need each other...
To have a wonderful,
And healthy living.

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Posted for Magpie Tales
Photo courtesy of Tess Kincaid...

blessed Sunday everyone
and a wonderful week ahead...

Friday, March 16, 2012

The Rock, The Moss

I am now experiencing the calm storm.
The wind died down suddenly

Didn't you feel i'm hugging
you so tight!..

Even thoroughly pissed off with you,
I still loved you enough
to pick you up and
put you not on the couch
but beside me in bed.

Don't be fearful.

I asked you to hold on to me
tightly when you were unsure.
Hold tight.
I am here.
I have not moved from you.

Hold me tight.
I need you too.

Be strong
and push the bad feelings aside.

Probably caused by previous experiences...
Stupid! I know you are different.
Maybe the lines were said
million times by different persons,
broken and lied to,
But of course you are different!..
Oh hard to teach a heart that had been
damaged severely for so many times...

I take that into account.
I know your pain.
I realize the crap other guys
have put you through.
You aren't going to find that here.

I know your pain.
I love you.

I think nothing of it when
you all of a sudden stop texting for a while.
All i feel is an anxiousness
for your next wonderful words.

There is no pain for you
here with me if you choose,
much like the sore on your head,
to let things heal.

I am trying!..

I will help you heal.

I love you body mind and soul.
I doubt the rest did.

I am your rock.



I am counting on you.

You can.
I never change.

I have been beaten to my lowest
yet i am still the same caring
person i have always been.

Goodnight my precious guy.

Goodnight my rock!..

Goodnight my soft
and precious. Moss. :-)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Your promise! My comfort!..

Our exchange of text messages today
made me feel secure of myself
and us together
and made me very happy
especially these two:

don't stop inspiring me
that there will be an end to this...
this is what i am holding on
i love you!..

hold on tight.
Hold me closer when in doubt.
I am your rock.

I am very happy
that i met you.
you are making me believe
that there is something good
waiting for me at the end of my journey.

your wonderful words of encouragement
is reassuring me
that i am right
with what i am doing;
but still hoping that
you will continue to guide me through.

thank you
i love you!...

Sunday, March 11, 2012

I Have A Confession To Make

(i did this post yesterday while i am very sad and low. accept my apologies for how this post went. thinking of erasing it but i already did so might as well keep it...

i have been keeping this big secret
for six years
ten months
and one day now....

at the break of my depression; i myself is noticing my change of mood and way of thinking and my patience getting bad, i was then thirty five years old... my family and friends are just probably timid or scared to tell me that i am having attitude problem because they are scared of how i am going to react.

depressed of what? you may ask...

i may say that before that age, i am self-reliant, in my own little way i can make things work out for myself especially about money...

but of course my mother, my stepfather and my siblings are once and a while there to lend a hand.

i thought my capacity of earning will never change. that everyday until the end of my life i will be earning that much or to a better thought, earning more as day goes by.

but, i was wrong not only that some little things take me away from working, recession also took place.

i spent almost every dime i have in my pocket but too ashamed to admit it. so at that age of thirty five, i reassess myself what happened? that i was so sad of what i did...

i do not have any money at all comparing myself to peers and classmates. they are all way ahead of me
thinking that these people look up to me as one of the best guys in class. and no matter what i do, i do not see myself moving forward.

until one day my youngest brother, romano who is then working in Taipei in a nursing home called and asked me, "kuya (older brother in filipino) if you are willing to forget everything that you have there and start all over again, i will help you to come over here and work like me. hard work but better income?"

with the tone of better income, i said, "yes'...

so off i go to attend six months of caregiving course after office at 6pm 'til 9pm... and as expected JJ finished the course on top of the class... funny, that i was asked to make sure to attend our graduation just to find out that no matter what they do it is me who got the three awards for my class...

"best in class"
"best in practicum - hospital"
"best in practicum - housekeeping"

maybe not the kind of awards that everyone is dreaming of getting but for me it is an accomplishment... simply shows how serious i am in what i am doing no matter how important or simple it is.

so off i need to send my papers to my brother.

my boss, who is so good to me told me, "JJ i do not think you can survive that kind of job. thinking of what you have here." I was then a unit manager for a big insurance company. I am even handling the radio program for the provincial government as one of the primary hosts. so she advise me to just file
an indefinite leave, so, should i want to come back, there is a job waiting for me.

but the truth is, the worst sacrifice i have to make is this -

on May 10, 2005
I have my small tattoo
burned to erase it.
i was asked to appear for
an interview and medical on june 10
for the job in taiwan
and everyone is afraid that
if i have a tattoo i may not pass.
with a limited time
i have put myself
to the worst - burn my skin deep
that the tattoo will be gone.
until now, i still cry whenever i think of it...
yes, i tried to enquire about erasing it
the cosmetic way, but i need to have
6 months and three sessions
which i do not have...

(to be continued... getting emotional here... sorry!)..

The Mag 108

image: Uzengia Alexander Nedic

On my way
to the future
that I have seen,
thought, and planned
for myself and my family;
there are always some crossroads
that seems blurry...
some junctions  
that gives me dilemma...
caused by events
beyond my control
or sometimes 
by meeting people
who are also 
on their journey...
But I am always thankful
of God for giving me help
through kind and generous people
and who continuously
guide, bless and giving
me the courage and strength
to continue my journey
no matter how hard
the plight maybe.

posted for Magpie Tales
photo courtesy of Tess Kincaid

have a blessed Sunday fellow bloggers
and a great week ahead...
and thanks for dropping by!..
Love you all!..

Friday, March 9, 2012


once again
another filipino mixed
made me proud
to be who i am.
since i never have time
or barely have a time 
to watch TV...
or often than not 
do not want to watch TV
to avoid hearing
scary, sad and disappointing news
that made me worry about
my family back home...
i accidentally saw the news
on yahoo that says,
a finalist made J Lo speechless.
out of curiosity i checked it out
and all i can say is WOW...
i am teary eyed
as i feel every note
of the songs you sing.
i want to thank all the
talented PINOYS
and especially
who made it to Top 3
of season 3
you guys always make me proud to be
P I N O Y!..
but for now,
my prayers to you
of American Idol 2012!.. 

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


... We say is the best teacher

But it can also

...give fear for some to be scared of tomorrow

...loose hope for the future

...hard time to trust again

...and worst case,

others end their lives because of it.

Sunday, March 4, 2012


MAG #107

As a child:
Things, looking at them with amusement.
People, with admiration...
As beautiful as they are fantastic.

As a teenager,
Things, "I like that"
"I want that" as i do not know the
difference between need and want.
People, dreaming of what i want to be
when answering,
"what and who am I
when grow up?
or "when will I have my say?"

As a young adult:
Things, became obsessed with it.
Never thinking of the future.
Cannot be left alone in a store
as I tend to grab whatever is there.
What a waste of resources...
People, do not bother me at all.
I care for what I want to grab and
became materialistic.

At thirty five:
Things, OMG! I have all the waste
All the garbage
stocked everywhere in the house.
People, looking at them with insecurity.
Those people that I admire most
and peers seems so big that not
even my two eyes can take a look
of their whole being,
Even just their picture.
And I feel so small compared to them.

And 6 years after,

At forty-one:
Things, well! Not too late,
Finally able to define needs and wants,
And it is making life easy and comfy.
Learned that they are not the most important things.
People, ahhh so much to say.
Sad to see the young who are experiencing
What i had been through.
Making the same mistakes.
Hoping they too will wake up one day
That it is not to late to change life and lifestyle.
Happy to see myself getting close to what I want and need
and close to what they have
Referring to those who i have been admiring when i was young.
Not as big as them, but,
good enough for what I dreamed of then.

Posted for Magpie Tales
Picture will be posted later.

Thanks JC [link] for editing this for me... :-) i appreciate it so much!.

Help: do not know how to attach pic using my iPad2

Happy blogging everyone...
Blessed Sunday
Great week ahead...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

"what if?"

i have made
terrible mistakes
in the past
that put me where i am today;
Away from family
And struggling to survive
the life on the other side of the planet
caused by terrible
decisions and
unsure actions.
and now that
i am already
half way my life
(God willing and blessing)
and with all the
uncertainties that is happening
and may happen,
man-made most often;
before i make any
to work out my plan,
i always make sure that
i have answered the question
"what if?"
it is hard to make
a mistake again
with no back-up plan.