Thursday, June 30, 2011

Canada Day

after celebrating the Philippine Independence Day last June 12 with some friends in Toronto. I am now set to experience Canada Day, wasn't able to experience it last year because i don't know my way yet. i arrived june 23 12.30am... Yehey! i'm i year and 1 week in Canada now... although i am at work my boss' girlfriend will be here to to keep him company, and they gave me time to go out and watch the fireworks at the Lakeshore just here in Burlington.

Alone! yes i am! hahaha... i should have titled this Alone on Canada Day! and getting used to it... yehey! but looking forward to meet new friends while watching it. anyways, the Canadians are very warm and i never had any problems mingling with them. there is such a common factor Filipinos and Canadians, our being warm...

and on my day off on saturday, i am set to go to Toronto to join my friends and see what Gay Pride Parade is. hehehe.. i never been into one. i know that in Taipei, Taiwan there is also a Pride Parade but i've never been to one. so i am all set to go. i have invited someone to be with me but no luck! he is so tired of his terrible job and he cannot make it... but who knows? surprise! surprise!... hahaha... wish there is a shooting star so i can make my spell or a wishing well so i can make a wish!

That's going to be my weekend... and next week looking forward to start my driving lessons... where would my driving take me, up to Quebec or across the border in Niagara? we will know...


Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Stress Test

ok finally at 11am, i have completed all the tests that the doctor have requested me to do and i am willing to do. the first set of tests were the blood and the urine test which was done last week.

this morning at 8am, i went to have my stress test. i thought it is stressful but the stress was actually getting to bed early the night before because i usually sleep late doing my work and hopin to get an ilove you or good night honey texts. but since i need to be fully rested so i went bed early after a warm bath trying to get some sleep but i really cannot. after sending my good night and i love you texts to my love, my  honey, i somehow managed to fall asleep.

i was up as the alarm on my phone went off as i set it for 5.30pm..

another stress is that you are not allowed to have caffeine. oh my, not having coffee in the morning is incomplete. i feel like my head is empty, as if not! hahaha...

good my boss is very generous enough to drive me to my appointment. i was there 5 minutes before my schedule. so i have time to observe other patients. having fears on needles, seeing them with needles on their arms makes me scared.. another stress... hahaha...

anyway, it went on nicely... it's done and now i am just waiting for the sweet, cute and warm dr. j d s to call me to tell me the result of the tests. hoping for the best...

 oh my! poke me twice... didn't i tell everyone i have phobia on needles, any scientific name for it?
 before i went to the tread mill...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

This is me...

photo courtesy of Tess Kincade
Magpie Tales #71

oh this picture is the perfect description of myself
She how the dark paint on the bottom and
On the background gave a floating-like feeling on
Those bright and radiant colored objects.

I am always been feeling that way.
I am not afraid of taking chances
As long as I know that I carefully thought of
What to do and what things to bring along the way.

See how in between those objects
You can feel that there is air
A place for you to breath
A moment where you can rest.

And on the other hand
When deeply looking at it
You anticipate that there will be falling
Yet the fall is smooth and safe.

I am not afraid of committing a mistake
As long as along the way
I don't step on someone and do my best
I'll get up there for sure.

Anyway, those bright colored objects
represents my strength
my capacity
and my eagerness to make it...
I don't mind being slow
As long as it's moving upward or forward.
Great people have tried it several times
Making a lot of trial & error before making it to the top.

So why can't I?

Monday, June 27, 2011

Open Relationship!

What the hell is this about? just to get your attention... I don't swear!

In love, I am very generous because I can love 101% more than I love myself that is why every break up is devastating for me. He will be the first thing that would come in mind as i open my eyes and the last thing that I will be thinking of before sleeping.

Will always be the part of every prayer, every step that I do everyday.

But my generosity does not, I repeat DOES NOT include sharing him to others. I am selfish in that area.I want an inclusive relationship when it comes to sex. One, I find it sacred for partners. I don't want walking around with whoever and every person that we will meet on the road is looking at us with me doubting if that was the person you are with while I'm not around. That would kill me...

Second reason, HEALTH! Do I have to explain why? Of course not...

I'm in doubt again....LOL! Daanin ko na lang sa tawa!... Hahahaha....

Sunday, June 26, 2011

the wedding party... the introduction...

it was an awesome party. guests are warm... the music, the venue and the food was fantastic...

but the best part of it was when my boss got up and surrounded by his family and we are introduced as the best caregivers a person can ever have. that we are making his life more meaningful and better. that we are now a member of their family. 

even during the picture taking, we were called to join them in the family picture. i almost cried of happiness especially when they mentioned that i was the one who monitored the ongoing preparation making sure that everything is going to be ready for the party. that introduction was beyond his and his family's kindness and generosity. it made me proud of what i'm doing. made me proud of myself. 

 my favorite crew... 

 the bride - Carly
 with the newlyweds - Carly and Andy

 sister Amy and Boyfriend Dane
 with uncle David and Pat (my co-worker)
 With cousin Mary and Boyfriend
 the very friendly crew
 this is the part when we are going to be introduced. 
 with brother Ryan...
 with sister krissta

the bartenders... who managed to put me to a sound sleep after the event was done...

we became an instant celebrity in that occasion. made a lot of friends. and i cannot count if how many guests have invited us to visit them in their homes.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

suddenly it came into the view.. marriage...

i never thought this would sink in to my mind. if a very good person will pop up and offer me marriage will i go for it? hahaha!.. that's the first reaction i did. i laugh all by myself. then suddenly a long pause and i started to picture it out... and ask myself again, if there is someone willing to take me, what am i gonna do?.. and if i do not have any reason to say no because i would love to. that is what i have been waiting all my life. someone who would "risk his life to be with me as i am for him.

let's wait for part 2 tomorrow. i am just drunk... that is what they say... maybe i am... anyway, there will be a wedding here tomorrow, let's see if i can picture out myself being the one...

but, just a thought... does it really happen that the person you have been hoping to pop up the question won't do it and suddenly an equally nice person would come and suddenly utter it? oh! what a disaster... i better go back to sleep... i might have been dreaming or drunk as they say....

Friday, June 24, 2011

the wedding preparation for saturday

this is what is going on at the backyard of my boss'... there will be a wedding reception on saturday. and i am helping them out because they are so busy. i'm making sure that things are done the way they expect it to be. i feel so good being that confidence to manage it for them...

flower pots need to be ready...
lawn has to be cut...
tent has to be fixed nicely (12X12meters)
the tables and chairs...
the pool need to be covered nicely - the dance floor will be on top of it
the guy who will do the windows must finish the job

Thursday, June 23, 2011

good luck for us!

OMG! i have clearly done the schedule and my reliever is blaming me that it was unclear. told me that on his understanding he has full days off yesterday. coming out tuesday afternoon and coming back thursday afternoon, was that a day off? i don't know how to interpret it according to his understanding. he is suppose to be here at my boss' home for i need to go to the Villa and help prepare for the big preparation, a wedding reception.

to our disappointment no Pat arrived. we waited until 2 more hours. at 7pm my boss asked if we can phone him, i said i already did sent a message and phoned him earlier but it seems like his phone is still broken. i then try to searched for his phone home and luckily found it. when we called home, his aunt answered. she told me that Pat left home around 11am and will be reporting for work. that made everyone worry now. where is he?

his aunt telling us that he is not so honest with his aunt and not even telling them where he goes and who are his friends and his whereabouts (filipino culture, you need to tell them)... and he is most of the time "dishonest" made my boss worry and furious! oh my! i don't know what's gonna happen today.

luckily before i slept talking to my BF i sent him a message on YM, and when i woke up this morning i found his message saying that it's a miscommunication but he will do his best to come here on or before 8am so i can go to the Villa.  i hope he does. he is really unreliable when it comes to time. punctuality is already an issue with him. problem? because of my boss being so furious last night, he did recall all Pat's unbecoming and shortcomings... even made a sarcastic joke! i'm gonna fire him... i hope not...

anyways, i will be the overseer of the preparation for the wedding reception this saturday. the biggest work will be the pool being covered with fiber glass and they will set up the dance floor or the buffet table on top of it.. i don't know. i will surely post all some of the pictures. the party will be on saturday, june 25...

big thing for me. now i know giving me that work, they trust me... very fulfilling... i am only on this job for 10 months... thanks God!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

my medical exam

oh! finally i got a very good sleep after that getting the results of the tests yesterday.

The handsome Dr. J D S is so good to tell me all the good news. but before telling me the results, he first said, as i told you, as how i can see you, you are perfectly healthy and good. the tests did not show anything wrong. the chest pains may only be because of heavy liftings or overwork or stress... hahaha... he told me, anybody who may have or not have heart problems if they keep worrying would only make it worst or have it.

secondly, this is not new to me but first time that a doctor told me on my visit, that men in general who are 40yo in above must keep challenging themselves physically. do some exercise. men who are doing a 30 minutes workout three times a week have better chances of not having any health problems... so guys are you up to join me jog every other night?

but, he gave me aspirin to be taken daily. that is something for me.  but he said this is nothing... hust to make sure.

although he told me that he may suggest that i go through the stress test. and see how my heart would react. before leaving the handsome doctor's clinic, he told me keep smiling and keep happy thoughts. wish that is possible all the time.

and before leaving, he smiled sweetly and said book your stress test appointment. and it is always nice talking to you JJ... i smiled and replied... nice to talking to you too doc J!...

and for those that have expressed and showed concern, thank you very much!

Monday, June 20, 2011

the past.. the present

the past is always the basis of the present..
sad that we sometimes let
our old family pictures,
our family portraits
sit and hang where
they cannot be seen...
let them out
for they speak for us
they speak of our family..

(picture posted at Magpie Tales)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

i'm Gone...

i am suppose to tell you that if one morning you will wake up and i am gone, don't blame me. i already told  you that, i need ten seconds of your every day. but nothings happened.

email you, you won't email me back. yet i have all the proof that you are online. text you, no reply, three days no reply. i dont believe that within 72 hours you never checked your phone. that is crazy... you love blogs because it is part of what you are doing.... tried to do it, but all the world have read my blog, and only you never cared about it. yeah! i know it's a crap... you don't care about a crap blog. ah i remember you told me, who will be reading a blog that is full of jealousy and crap... you are right... no one; even you... read all the old posts maybe you will learn why i needed your attention... I'M SICK! and not even a single word of concern from you...

so goodbye...

thanks for everything. whatever your decision will be i will respect you. but for me this is not gonna work out if you are not gonna put me on your list to check everyday... yes! everyday... it's all my selfishness i know. but, think about this, we are on the stage of knowing each other yet we do not communicate everyday... no that's wrong, i communicate everyday and you don't care... i remember again, this is becoming a distraction. probably i'm not good for an artist, a poet...

ps. don't worry i never doubted your love but i think i am not part of priority... sorry i cannot waste my youth and time to wait until i will be... we will only live once and i want to be happy... i want to be happy... besides, i don't want to be the DISTRACTION to you anymore as what you have said on your last email. this is like end of the world to me you just don't know how. i may sound so brave on this post but i know it will take months of crying on the shower and on bedtime. but better now that i still have the chance to do something rather than later when i already missed all the chances...

we have different ways handling a relationship that's the problem... and without talking it's difficult to meet halfway...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

moving on...

i think it is enough for me to confine myself inside the house and wait for mercy. LOL!

need to move on. summer time has finally showed up. they are festivities coming up. so for a start. before going downtown Toronto to have fun. dropped by downtown burlington to check "Sound Of Music Festival"...

(parade expectators)

hopefully noone will ask about "R" and just let me go and have fun.  anyways, i did not say no to them telling me that they have some friends who are interested in knowing and meeting me. Whatever it would lead me to, so be it.

i have protected myself and "R" so much that i even have to wear a fake ring. (yes! don't tell me it's wrong because i know it myself that it is DEFINITELY WRONG and INAPPROPRIATE!" but i cannot have any way to let the people know that i am tied up. but it's not working anyway. probably there are a lot of people like me who are just dying to get someone's attention and win it. I have been in that situation for a sometime.

so i decided, to never shy away from any invitation as long as they don't mean harm. and hopefully i cannot hear any "INDECENT PROPOSAL" because of what i feel now, i know i am very much vulnerable...

besides, i cannot just let the season pass with nothing. it is like everyone is waiting for the late spring, summer and early autumn to enjoy the outdoors before the next winter comes and here i am so much on protecting this no communication type of relationship for nothing. i rather be enjoying. enough confining - that's long april 1 to today.

we (me and my friends) will be planning for the schedules that we can have and we can afford. For sure the Montreal trip will be the first in line. and hopefully i will be successful in getting my US visa; help me pray interview will be on July 19. that could add so much to my options. my ever loving brother is inviting me to go to Guam and Hawaii. i love that idea. for sure the surroundings will be just like back home in my province, the lovely Palawan, Philippines.

August, hopefully my sister have something for her birthday just like last year.

September, OPEN...

October, those friends and friend's friends who have been with me in Taiwan before coming here will have some party. planning ongoing. i am excited to see them again. after more than a year of not seeing them. we need to catch up anyways. and be thankful that we made it to canada. hopefully this is the last destination for everyone. Hahaha!.. i'm tired relocating...

November, trip to Calgary. that would be awesome. i'll meet some friends and my ex-GF, yes! an ex-GF. don't worry she knows me 101%. and during those times i never cheated on him. Come on! maybe it is hard to believe that someone is honest but i do... remember earlier i said, i am wearing a fake ring (the one on the pic above my other blog - Mis Canciones)  just to protect my no daily communication with "R"... that's how i am when i am in love. 101% honest, caring and thoughtful. very!

so that's me today. moving on... and back to my old self. the happy JJ... although there will be some changes, the doctor said no to so much meat, oil and salty foods... wish i can!.. hehehe...

and to you, hope you get this now... hahaha... Thank you for keeping me alive and giving time to check me once in awhile... i greatly appreciate it...
(taken at Dundas Square in front of Eaton Center, Yonge Street, Ontario, Canada)