I am all this time right about all of this things that I have been fearing. That The moment I open myself up, I'll be in a terrible mess. Last night, a very good friend of mine texted me, while we are walking along church street of Toronto, texted me this - you look lost! It seems like No matter how hard I to project myself to be happy, it does not help, im are lost...
On my way home, I get out of the crowd went off to a very dark park and cried... I cried hard so I can let go of everything that I have been keeping. I don't mind much the word "SAD", everyone has low moments. But to be called "LOST"... That's very painful.
I am always been known as a guy who knows the answer for "WHAT", "WHERE", "WHEN" and "WHO"... Lost is one word that I would never consider to be part of my life. That word is scary for me...
I am sorry! but I cannot bear this anymore... Before I get so drowned, I will search for myself first. Start all over again... It's all my fault. Taking the blame on it. I let this happen.
Told you, one of these days we might wake up that the other one is gone... Slowly we are fading... And fall...
attached is a video i took from my friend's 11th floor apartment at church street... taken before we went for a walk...
Being "lost" is not a great feeling, but it is a human feeling and that is important because it makes us feel something. To feel is to be human.
ReplyDeleteWhen we feel lost we have the aility to find again something new we did not know about ourselves.
Nurture a loving respect for yourself. Find what makes yourself feel happy rather than empty than fill that with the fullness of Love!
I say to myself "I am the fullness of Love!" Once you feel full of the essence of love there is nothing that you cannot do.
This usually works for me plus a change of environment...keeping positive through it all!